Dr. C thought she heard a heart murmur, so she sent me to see Dr. B (cardiologist) and get an electrocardiogram. Thankfully, that turned out to be a false alarm. I saw Dr. H (rheumatologist), who checked me out and was not sure what to make of my symptoms. I also saw Dr. M1 (infectious disease specialist). Upon hearing that I have visited over 80 countries, Dr. M1 ordered every test possible for every disease I could have possibly contracted in every country I had stepped foot. In each of my 3 blood collections for Dr. M1, they took enough vials of blood to place me near the record number taken by each phlebotomist. I’m super competitive, so I was kinda bummed I didn’t set the record, to be honest.
Maybe I picked up a bug from this great white shark in South Africa?
There must be a blood test for that, and I really want AFBT (Another F-ing Blood Test).
Well, yeah of course you wanna be a record holder! But the ONLY time you want to hear you’re unremarkable is when you’re hearing about your lab test. Right?
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Yes, MAPB (Master Apple Pie Baker), I’m living for that day 🙂
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