My birthday came around again (dammit), and to ease the pain, my pals Jae, Kristin and Stephanie took me on another Buttkick List adventure. This time we migrated to a music store in Huntington Beach, CA. You see, I’ve never had a musical lesson in my life, so playing a song on an instrument
is was on my list as a monumental task to be conquered.
Jae decided we should have a lesson on the simple harmonica, being that I am simple minded. Much safer choice than the accordion or bassoon, right? Manny, our instructor, really had his work cut out for him. I am NOT musical. Just ask anyone who has been unfortunate enough to hear me attempt to “sing.” Whenever I find myself in the terrifying position of being in a group of singers (sorority, church, birthday celebrations, sporting events) I mouth the words to spare those around me excruciating ear pain. You may be interested to know, however, I am an expert judge of other singers. I could shred as an American Idol judge. “Yo, that was a little pitchy, Dawg.” I know when something doesn’t sound right, and with me, it never sounds right.
Our squad of middle-aged women happens to appreciate tasteless humor, so we were thrilled to learn that the harmonica is all about blowing and sucking. I know. I know. We could hardly get to playing for all the ridiculously lewd comments that naturally flow with those two particular words. Poor Manny. That was the slowest hour of his life, I’m afraid.
Anywho, we actually did manage to learn the basics of blowing and sucking our harmonicas, which allowed me to check the box! Thanks Jae, Kristin and Stephanie! And, as always, thanks Leason, for giving me my second chance at life and music!
We nailed it, as you can clearly see, so we have decided to take our gig on the road in 2020 and play for sold out arenas worldwide. I was so thrilled to finally pierce the world of music bubble that I Amazon Primed two harmonica song books by the time we exited Manny’s parking lot. I’ve been blowing and sucking like a lunatic ever since, and I’m proud to announce that I’m killing it with my rendition of Edelweiss (click on the gold bar below). Leave a message if you are looking to book entertainment for a wedding, corporate event or perhaps the Super Bowl half time show. Be sure to use the promo code: JOSSUCKS