My name is Joselyn and I’m addicted to reality tv.
Here are some of my faves:
THE REAL PATIENTS OF CITY OF HOPE:
Starring the most outrageous patients who frequent City of Hope. Watch as they get into some major cat fights over appointment times, designer masks, and who’s most popular with the doctors and nurses!
Each season features a dashing eligible bone marrow donor who narrows down a field of potential donees, until one lucky patient receives the marrow and a rose.
EXTREME DNA MAKEOVER:
A contestant in need of a major change receives not only a new appearance, like pink hair, but also a completely new DNA!
PIMP MY HIDE:
Each week, someone desperately in need of a skin upgrade receives a new tattoo!
AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MOHAWK:
Contestants from the City of Hope’s transplant floor show off their mohawks (before the chemo kicks in), and compete for the Most Photogenic title.
KEEPING UP WITH THE GASHIANS:
Follow the shenanigans of an obnoxious family whose members all have gnarly gashes.
…and its spinoffs:
KEEPING UP WITH THE RASHIANS:
See above, but instead of gashes, this family has repulsive rashes.
and… KEEPING UP WITH THE SASHIANS:
The third installment of this highly popular series. The focus is on the contentious relationships between contestants of the Miss MedAmerica beauty pageant.
AMERICA’S GOT TRANSPLANT:
Bone marrow transplant patients compete in a weekly talent contest from their hospital beds. Past talents have included pushing the nurse call button, unplugging IV pumps for bathroom visits, and even performing cheers during USC football games.
Naturally hosted by Tim Gunn, this competition features hospital patient contestants shooting Nerf guns at targets across the room. Aiming at such bulls eyes as “chemo,” “f-ing mouth sores,” and “dinner in a bag,” they are judged on style, creativity, and of course, accuracy.
After being brought to a deserted island called City of Hope, patients are cured of their various life-threatening diseases and released to live a full and rewarding life. Each year, these survivors are brought back to COH to celebrate together the miracles performed by the doctors at this wonderful place.
Bone marrow donors are put under anesthesia while doctors gently harvest the life saving goo from their hip bones. Sometimes they are forced to first eat a tarantula.
Patients compete by loading up their IV trees with as many pumps, bags o’ medication and miscellaneous medical devices as their trees will bear, then they don surgical masks and gloves while racing down the halls of the transplant floor.
Watch the hilarity that ensues as patients never know when someone will pop out from behind the couch and inject them with a random medication!
Similar to its sister show, Gunk’d, Hunk’d follows unsuspecting “victims” as they are pleasantly surprise-hugged by good looking, wealthy, and sometimes royal babes.
HEAL OR NO HEAL:
Howie Mandel and a bevy of beauties visit open muscle biopsy/hematoma patients and ask them to choose numbered briefcases to determine their healing fate. Kinda weird, but fascinating!
MEAL OR NO MEAL:
Same concept as Heal or No Heal, but on this show, Howie and the bimbos cram themselves into patients’ hospital rooms just before dinner time. As the briefcases are opened, the patients learn whether they will receive a “delicious” hospital meal, or get served a bag o’ blood.
MARY’S GOT TALENT:
This is no competition at all. Mary’s ceramic artistry wins every time!
AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MARROW:
Unlike it’s predecessor, America’s Next Top Mohawk, this version features bags of bone marrow duking it out in such categories as “best matched,” “strongest plasma producer,” and “least likely to cause Graft vs. Host Disease.”
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DRAW:
Don’t miss this fast-paced show which features hospital visitors who must come up with fun and creative games for the patients to play to keep their minds off their illnesses. Judges Nigel Lithgoe and Mary Murphy have the two most annoying personalities on tv!
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN MEDICATE:
Each contestant vies for supremacy partnering with his/her pharmacy.
This is not really a competition, but rather a generous donation of time and sweat as half marathoners run to benefit research for horrible diseases.
DANCING WITH THE STERILES:
One of the most popular reality shows of all time, contestants waltz, cha cha and tango while wearing surgical masks and gloves.
AMERICA’S GOT NURSE TODD:
Although many contenders have tried to knock Nurse Todd off his “Best Caretaker in the World” pedestal, none have been successful. He dominates in all areas.
UPDATE: Last week my eyes became super duper puffy, red, gooey and painful. BOMFUC – Bring On More F-ed Up Complications! I knew Graft vs. Host could attack the eyes, and in extreme cases, cause blindness, so I was quite concerned. I emailed Dr. F and he immediately called in a magic steroid solution to my pharmacy. Within a few days, my eyes were pretty much back to their usual farsighted selves, and I was SO relieved. I’ve got too many reality tv shows to watch ~ I CANNOT/WILL NOT go blind!
Todd was playing in the Huntsman World Games (volleyball) in Utah during my last COH appointment (his team won the gold!), so my mom accompanied me to Duarte. It was Day 300 since my transplant, so to celebrate, Dr. Fantastic gave me a flu shot! He was very happy to see that my eyes looked normal, as did all of my blood work 🙂 Normal is such a wonderful word! Mom knows her way around City of Hope, after visiting me each of my 90 days of residency there and going with my dad for all of his appointments to cure his prostate cancer. My mom is a star. No, she’s an entire galaxy!
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