Have you ever tried to see through Vaseline? I have 🙂 My eyes have been taken hostage by Graft vs. Host Disease and in addition to that, TDVPHCCIBP – The Dreaded ‘Vitamin P’ (Prednisone) Has Caused Cataracts In Both Peepers. My newest team member, Dr. S3 diagnosed me with multiple cataracts and told me that I need to have separate surgeries on each eye. They will go something like this: a small incision will be made on the side of my eyeball, then an ultrasound will be inserted, which will pulverize the lens, then vacuum out the pieces, leaving enough space to implant an artificial lens. I’ll be awake during the surgery. My right eye will be operated on first, followed by 8 weeks of sitting on the couch downing Haagen Dazs mocha almond fudge, then it will be the left’s turn, followed by another 8 weeks of slothing and gorging. My vision absolutely SUCKS right now, so I’m looking forward to these procedures! In addition to seeing the world through what appears to be petroleum jelly, I’m very sensitive to light so I often make like a mole and dive into the nearest hole in the ground. Objects or people in front of a light source appear in silhouette (completely black). No boo hoos here! There is a massive silver lining! I’ll get to play pirate for a while, and the surgeries will be AWESOME, because I will be able to get my vision prescription put into the new lenses (for distance AND reading). The plan is that I won’t need glasses, contacts or a white cane 🙂 Jealous much? I know, I know – sorry to rub it in!
So now, even if my chemo brain could remember your name, it doesn’t matter, because I can’t see a face in order to recognize you. The epitome of sub-par social etiquette.
Dr. F has referred me to a second ophthalmologist, due to the fact that I have GvH in the eyes in addition to cataracts. Dr. I has lots of experience with patients who have had similar health experiences as me and he will have the final say on when and where I have my surgeries, as well as who’s holding the cutlery. And, hot off the press: I am starting to taper one of my meds! Yay! I’m dropping 2mgs of Tacrolimus (Prograf) from the daily lineup. Pass it on.
So… This is super cool: City of Hope’s 2014 Rose Parade float featured none other than Dr. F 🙂 Show of hands: who saw him waving to the world in his Dodger cap? He was riding next to a great guy who underwent a stem cell transplant, which finally cured him after 3 rounds of cancer. Through COH, he was able to meet his lifesaving donor just before the parade began! His story: http://breakthroughs.cityofhope.org/rose-parade-float-ridersben-teller-dream/10733/ This year’s float was beautiful, complete with wish trees, adorned with individual wishes of patients, friends and family, just like those outside City of Hope. One of those wishes was mine 🙂
Last week I was able to step foot into my first foreign country since these creepy diseases crept up on me. I attended my Semester at Sea 30-Year Reunion Voyage from San Diego to Ensenada, Mexico. But it wasn’t really about the port visit. It was about our group of 40 shipmates getting back together again after 3 decades. I met my husband, Todd, on the Spring ’84 around-the-world voyage, and we were so happy to be able to join our pals for a very FUN four days. The new ship offered no classes, no lockers for closets, no losing an hour every other day, no soot on our clothing, and no cabin stewards with a fetish for short-sheeting their cabin residents. My brother/hero/donor, Leason is a SAS alum, from the Spring ’88 voyage, and I am so grateful that he was able to make the voyage even more special and meaningful! Our awesome reunion chair, Val, presented me with an incredible jacket, with a ‘J’ on front and ‘Courage’ embroidered on the back! A group from the Spring ’09 voyage (which Todd and I joined for a few weeks from Morocco to Namibia to South Africa) decided to dedicate a dress-up night to my recovery (I know – so f-ing amaze balls) where everyone dressed up in a costume that started with the letter ‘J’. These crayzeee individuals came as the Jackson 5! There was a jailbird, a Jesuit, Jared the Jeweler, Jameson Whiskey, some Japanese ninjas, a Jew in a jacket, Jesus, J Lo, and many more! I came as Ja’mie, the self-proclaimed hawt and insanely popular Aussie high schooler from the hit HBO show, Summer Heights High. As soon as the bar was packed with shipmates, and the drinks were flowing, Leason ‘jogged’ up, donning a neon singlet, micro running shorts (borrowed from his wife, Kesha), a headband, wrist bands, and neon Asics. Classic costume! Those sought after ‘J’ tats made a showing on the voyage as well. My eyes were acting up during the fab four days, but it was a GREAT time! What could be better than being surrounded by ‘J’s, my second favorite letter? 🙂
Suppose someone told you that a woman had these symptoms:
no short-term memory
violently shakes when chilled
bags under her eyes
owns a cane
downs a sh*t ton of pills daily
feels the need to nap every afternoon
throws in profanity at inappropriate times
cannot make it through the night without a trip to the loo
no night driving allowed
pays the price for eating spicy foods
FUSUOLS – f-ed up super ugly old lady skin
uses ‘sensitive’ toothpaste
probably legally blind
gets sh*t faced after one cocktail
How old would you say that woman was…. 91, 97, 104? HA!
Once again, my friend, Karen sent me an outrageously awesome t-shirt. This one is mucking afazing! LOVE it!