Rocks, Brooms, Lashes, Special Ointment and Egyptian Kings

I turned the big Five Won the other day, and to celebrate, I pulled a reverse surprise party on some friends and family 🙂 Todd and I met them in a predetermined spot, and had them wear warm, comfortable clothing.  We let them know when we’d be done.  We figured that’s all they needed to know.  So thankful they showed up!  We all boarded a party bus, complete with stripper pole, Starbs and mimosas and we were off.  Todd and I have always had an adventurous streak, enjoying quite a few intrepid expeditions over the years, and after my brawl forced us to take a couple of years off, we were itching to get back to our bucket list. This was our chance to include some nears and dears in a daring, gritty exploit that they would never have risked doing on their own. Todd had everyone quite worked up on the way to our destination, talking about wetsuit sizes, sea sickness meds, types of sharks we should expect to encounter, etc.  We brought our friend, Jared along to play the part of marine biologist for a while.  We finally spilled the 42 pound beans, and let everyone know we were going to try the death defying sport of curling 🙂  Face it, you’ve all shouted with know-it-all disgust at your Olympic tv screens, “I could do THAT ~ that’s SO lame ~ how’s THAT a sport?”  Am I right or am I right? Part of my new post-almost-bought-the-farm mentality is to try new things, and I figured I’d force everyone else to try it, too.  Who knew?  There could have been someone in the group who was unknowingly born (or transplanted) with an untapped rock sliding/sweeping gene!  One of our first timers could have gone on to rep the US of A at the Pyeong Chang Winter Games in 2018, and there was only one way to find out!  PS – it’s harder than it looks, and this aint no porch-type sweepin’.  PSS – Safe to say no one from our group will be sliding rocks across the Korean ice in a few years.  PSSS – The stripper pole went unused, for the most part.

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King Fut
King Fut

Birthdays are wonderful things, when you consider the alternative! I must give a shout out to my friend, Amina, who had this awesome gift made for me in Egypt: (the Arabic letter F)!

Morning!
Morning!

JEEPERS, CREEPERS, THEM ARE EFFED UP PEEPERS!

My mornings these days go something like this:

Wake up, throw the covers off, swing my legs over, stand up, make my way to the bathroom slowly with arms in front, Frankenstein-style.  Notice I didn’t say open my eyes?  My peepers are sealed shut by the goo that oozes out and hardens while I’m catching zzzzzs.  Forcing them open results in lashes being ripped from their follicles, so I press warm compresses on them to ease them open by melting the cement.  Sometimes I can only get one to cooperate on the first try, and then depth of field is lost and the toothpaste isn’t easily placed on the brush.  Eventually, my prying skills prevail and I’m rewarded with this wondrous reflection:

Ocular Graft vs. Host Desease has taken a strong hold on my eyes at this point, so I’m headed back to see Dr. Fantastic and Dr. K, my ophthalmologist tomorrow and the next day.  This can be quite serious, so I’m hoping we can get a plan together to prevent any permanent damage.  They won’t operate on my cataracts until this is well under control, and my vision seems to worsen daily.  I’m sitting in front of my computer with those huge ass black wrap-around shades you see geriatric eye patients wear, because the screen is painful to look at.  With or without glasses, I can barely make out the words my fingers are attempting to create.  Thank goodness for my 9th grade typing teacher, Mr. Jentges, who drilled me with such riveting exercises as:  hhh space,  bbb space.

Couldn't make this up!
Couldn’t make this up!

One of Dr. K’s associates, also Dr. K, prescribed a new eye med for me:

Yep, you read correctly, FML ointment!

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I am a survivor of two extremely rare diseases, thanks to over 100 blood transfusions and ultimately, a bone marrow transplant. My blog, joselynsbrawl.com, chronicles my adventures through medical offices, operating rooms, clinics, transfusion centers, hospital transplant floors, victory celebrations, and finally my bucket list items – all with a humorous and sometimes profane twist. My goal is to inspire others not to give up on life or anything else, and to understand that it’s actually possible to enjoy any experience, even battling a life-threatening illness (or two).

30 thoughts on “Rocks, Brooms, Lashes, Special Ointment and Egyptian Kings

  1. Joselina, I am sorry to have missed the curling experience, but I heard it was a blast. There will be many more birthdays in your future to celebrate. I love you, my funny, daring friend!
    XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

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  2. Wow. I don’t know anyone else that has taken up Curling. You are so cutting edge! Forget those eye lashes and remember Twiggy. She drew them on!, love Ya, Cheryl l & John.

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  3. Happy Birthday Jos! I am so happy you had a fun and funny one. If anyone deserves a good time it is you. You still amaze me with your whit! You are one in a million. (I think that is what the doctors are saying about your diagnosis, also.) But thank you for being so open and sharing what you have gone through. I know everyone I speak to hopes they can be as positive as you have been during these horrific times. We love you and wish you many many many more happy birthdays!
    Love ya!!

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  4. Again , if you need me to drive you anywhere please have Todd email me! I’ve been coming down to EB quite a bit as my dear friend just moved there. I can bring you food, prescriptions etc etc. Please call!

    ❌⭕️ MELISSA CORRIGAN

    >

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  5. Thank yoiu for clarifying the apparent Curling myth (I also thought it must be pretty easy). Of course, I think I can play volleyball like the pros when I watch them but am quickly put in my place when I get on the court. Jos – you are truly amazing! I’m sure Dr. K will find another miracle for you. A belated Happy Birthday. Hers’s to many many more. XO

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  6. Happy Belated Birthday Jos! It looks like everyone had a fantastic time! Hoping and praying that your peepers perk up. You are a trooper extraordinaire 🙂

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  7. Thanks for the update Jos. 51 go figure! Sorry about your GvH eyes. I have faith in Drs F and K but please, no Drs U or C.
    If you have trouble putting toothpaste on the brush, then ask all those folks you have helped by supplying toothbrushes to help YOU out. They would do so gladly. Again, you are a super woman helping all those folks while dealing with your issues so valiantly. Thats why I love yoyu, dont ya know. (Don’t tell Nurse Todd”) shhh.
    I never curled but if you are doing it, it must be challenging and rewarding. Had I been on the bus, (on the subject of 2 rocks each) I woud have been staffing the stripper pole while you all were curling! This you CAN tell Nurse Todd!

    LIFE is a four letter word sometimes but I’d never know it from your stellar attitude.
    Love, Bart

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  8. More birthday wishes to you! the biggest wish is the wish of sooner than later recovery and getting those eyes better! What fun that was… and can’t wait to SEE you in a few weeks 🙂
    xoxo, K

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    1. Kathleen ~ thanks for submitting to my bizarre outing! You were among the top curlers of the day, so you should be very proud 🙂 Can’t wait to spend some relaxing time with you and Billy this weekend! XO

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    1. Dear Erin! YOU are the inspiration! Your thoughtfulness and support has been stellar, and I am in awe of your ability to keep my smiles constant! You ROCK, my boom boom friend!!! Love you!

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  9. FML Ointment….. Joselyn classic humor. You rock and this situation too will pass and you will make the adjustments…like you always do!!!! Love you!!!!

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    1. Vino – Your support has meant so much to me! Thanks for all the messages of encouragement. Thanks also for the most outrageously delectable meals, including Easter’s ‘harey’ feast! Love you and the fam!!! XO

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  10. Thanks again for an awesome surprise party! Who would’ve thought a so cal family could slide a rock!! Maybe all the shuffleboard games in Mexico… Love, L4

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    1. I’m so happy you were able to make it extra special by being there! Indeed all the shuffle boarding at The Crosses paid off big time! You were no doubt the MVC of the day! Love you tons, my awesome twin! XO

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  11. Jos, We are sorry to hear you are still suffering, but glad to hear your sense of humor and your adventuresome spirit is alive and well. Carolee’s favorite Olympic event is curling – it’s the only one she watches! I think you are more suited to diving with white sharks, climbing Kilimanjaro, or having a lion brush your side. Keep up the good fight and let us know about your adventures. Love Lynn and Carolee

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    1. Thanks, L & C, for your constant support and encouragement! I plan to keep my humor and adventuresome spirit front and center. I can’t wait to get back to some activities that are a little more thrilling than curling, but I can now really appreciate Carolee’s favorite Olympic event 🙂 We’ve had several adventurous plans scrapped recently, but we’re determined to get back out there ASAP! Love to you all! XO

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