Lurch from a 154′ Perch

Health and Wellness, Health Humor, inspiration, , , , , , , , , 31 Comments

Southbound, Auckland to Taupo.

T minus 3.5 hours.  Loads of time.  The beautiful New Zealand forests and sheep pastures put on a leisure show for us.  The Kiwi peeps are major friendly, but their cars are sydlecix.  The white fluffs of wool are floating by my passenger window on the left side.  Ya, those sheep are super cute and chill, just munching on grass and napping.  I’m chill, too, even though my hands have an ever so slight clamminess.

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baaaaa

T minus 3 hours.  Kind of a long drive, but it sure is lovely.  We’ve linked our Crosby, Stills and Nash tunes via Bluetooth to our rental Toyota Prado (I know, what?), and we’re chilloungin’, like the lambs.  Trying my best to keep my brainwaves on the sheep and not what’s about to happen in a few hours.

T minus 2.5 hours.  More sheep.  Why am I perspiring?  I’m not saying much (anything) to Todd.  He asks, “Are you sure you want to do this?”  Very sweetly I shriek, “Yes, I f-ing want to do this!”

Pretty sure.

T minus 2 hours.  Sheep farms for days.  Pretty sure NZ has like 9,877,678,987,759,837,926,864,382,775,853 sheep.  This drive is going by more quickly than I thought it would.  Don’t these Kiwis have speed limits?  WTF’s the hurry, Todd???

T minus 1.5 hours.  I’m really getting f-ing tired of these stupid sheep and the sweat slick marinating my bod.  Perhaps we should just go straight to the lodge, relax and get settled in for a civilized afternoon ~ maybe saunter into the bar for some nibbles and a glass of NZ pinot?  Just a thought.

T minus 1 hour.  My little voice bellows, “You will NOT go straight to the lodge, you pussy!  You’ll regret it forever if you don’t do this!  So, you’ll bring on a migraine, and maybe dislocate an ankle and fracture some vertebrae.  No big and SO worth it!”  I’ll just gear up for the fun of it, walk out on the platform, then decide.

T minus half an hour.   Here’s our turn off.  This is going to be really great!  … Or we could still just go straight to the lodge.  That could also be really great.

The parking lot is empty.  Bummers – they must be closed.  Oh wait, there’s a nice couple over there intently watching something.  Todd and I approach.  They’re Aussies on vacay, and their 16-year-old daughter is up there on the platform.  The mom’s eyes are watering and her lip trembles.  It looks higher than in the YouTube videos.  Is that the little boat that unhooks you post-jump, then takes you to shore?  I thought there were supposed to be two guys in there – it looks like only one from here, but it’s so far down, I can’t really tell.  OH! – a screaming blur!  Wow!  That was kinda rad.  She just fell off the cliff.  Headfirst.  Ha Ha.  “So, you guys next?” I ask the jumper’s mom and dad.  I get the ‘are you f-ing insane?’ look.

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Tools of the trade:  harnesses, straps, trusses, leashes, bands and shackles

My brain has gone to soggy Lucky Charms.  My legs can barely hold me as I walk to the office.  I’m speaking, but I can’t really hear what’s coming out of my mouth, as if I have my Beats blasting my eardrums.  I’m signing up for the Taupo Bungy, but it’s an out of body experience.  I’m not actually going to throw myself off the ledge.  I’ve conjured my moment on the platform over and over for the past week as my head rests on my pillow each night.  This is different.  I don’t remember the shaking and the sweating.  OK, I’ll just put on the leg strap things, but I’m not really gonna actually do thi”Right this way, young lady!”  Who, me?  But I’m not sure if…

Sit down right here, and we’ll get you attached.

Ummm okaaaaay.  But I’m not sure if…

Now, come over here to the edge.

I can’t.  My ankles are tied together, so… and I’m not sure if…

4C3D70CE-E313-46E2-99E5-94FAC7933A5D.fullThat’s it, just shuffle your feet.  OK, now put your arms up over your head.  Good.  Now just lean forward and

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Why live on the edge, when you can jump off?

YYYEEEEOOOOOWWWW!!!  HOLY F!  I’M FALLING!  I’M FALLING!  I’M FALLING!  WATER IN MY FACE!  -and- now I’m falling up -and- now I’m falling -and- this is fun! now I’m falling up -and- this is really fun! now I’m falling -and- I wanna do this again! now I’m falling up -and- I love this! now I’m falling -and- now there’s a stick I’m supposed to grab -and- now I’m lowered into a little boat -and- now these two cute Kiwis untie me and tell me I screamed really loud.  I screamed?  Now I’m floating.  I’m out of my mind.  I’m running up the switchbacks on the side of the cliff.  I’m laughing.  I’m jacked.  I did it!  I’m sure!

 

My new friend and fellow Shulman’s Syndrome/Aplastic Anemia patient, Peggy, is gearing up for her transplant on August 11.  She is facing enormous medical bills and is in need of help.  If you are able and willing, she would greatly appreciate any amount you could donate to her survival fund.   Click here for Peggy’s Go Fund Me Page.

 

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I am a survivor of two extremely rare diseases, thanks to over 100 blood transfusions and ultimately, a bone marrow transplant. My blog, joselynsbrawl.com, chronicles my adventures through medical offices, operating rooms, clinics, transfusion centers, hospital transplant floors, victory celebrations, and finally my bucket list items – all with a humorous and sometimes profane twist. My goal is to inspire others not to give up on life or anything else, and to understand that it’s actually possible to enjoy any experience, even battling a life-threatening illness (or two).

31 thoughts on “Lurch from a 154′ Perch”

    1. Peggy – You are the inspirational one! Keep up the good work of smiling through it all. It will soon be over and you’ll be back to your self again, only a new and improved model :). Love to you!

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  4. YOU ARE REALLY SOMETHING!!! I DON’T KNOW IF IT IS YOUR ENGLISH, SPANISH, OR GERMAN HERITAGE THAT MADE YOU DO THIS! YOUR STORY SHOULD BE PUBLISHED!!! XO MOM

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  9. WOW….when were you in NZ?!? We were last January and I arrived to bungie jump but the place was closed due to high winds…then Cary said God took care of it so I wouldn’t lose my teeth to the fall! Can’t wait to hear how your experience was 👍
    I guess I have to live thru Joselyn!

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  10. JOSELYN: You are my hero! Love the Kiwi’s! We were in Queenstown for two week a few years back during a 100 year rain event and bungee jumping was on our list! When it finally stopped raining, the day before we left for Christchurch, we had to substitute Parapenting instead. We hiked to the top of some ski resort with two guys we didn’t know and jumped off the mountain! I’d do it again in a heartbeat! New Zealand definitely qualifies as the adrenaline capitol of the world! XOXO😘 Bill Dunlap

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  12. Sounds really great Jos.
    Well worth the buildup and all those sheep.
    I went bungy jumping naked and got a black eye.
    Nurse Todd can relate to that!!
    Travel safe back.
    Luv ya’ good soul and your courage, spunk and never say never attitude.
    ❤️❤️

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  15. Oh my goodness! Thanks for full filing all of our bucket lists. Well… this might not be on some of our bucket lists. Good grief! Love you Jos!

    Marilyn

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  16. Jesus Jos, this is some hairy stuff you are doing. Jump? They would have to shoot me first, then push me off. I don’t know where you find the courage, but you’ve got it!

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