Bad Ass or Blows?

My Over-The-Top Loving Family – BAD ASS in the most awe-inspiring way

Having 12 Doctors Working to Heal Me – BAD ASS in the most stellar way

Waking Up to the Joys of the Newest Prednisone Side Effect:  Mouth Ulcers Covering the Inside of My Cheeks – BLOWS in the most f-ed up, merciless way

Learning That My Blog Has 13,000 Hits in 17 Countries – BAD ASS in the most shocking and humbling way

Traffic on the 210 – BLOWS in the most exasperating way

Waiting for Bone Marrow Biopsy Results – BLOWS in the most fateful way

Having the Price of My Latest Med go from $2,252.99 to $30 After Insurance Approves – BAD ASS in the most fiscally staggering way

Being Called Back Within 2 Seconds for a Second 45 minute MRI w/ Dye – BLOWS in the most annoying way

Hoag Cancer Center – BAD ASS in the most tremendous way

My Brother Who is Willing to Donate His Bone Marrow – BAD ASS in the most bad ass way

Thigh Hematoma – BLOWS in the most vile, bulging, icky, repulsive, heinous, fugly way

Todd’s Phenomenal Care of Me – BAD ASS in the most fantabulous, life saving way

Learning That Possible Future Treatments Will Cause Me to Lose My Hair – BAD ASS in the most let’s take advantage of the opportunity to grow it out in a glorious bright purple way (and maybe throw in a f-ing tattoo)

Obsessing Over the Fact That Today I Was Supposed to Be in Iceland to Begin a Kick Ass Ice Climbing/Snow Mobiling/Scuba Diving/Dog Sledding/Fishing/Canyoning Adventure – BLOWS in the most depressing way

Low Platelet Count – BLOWS in the most exasperating way

My Insanely Supportive Friends – BAD ASS in the most astounding way

Neupogen Injections – BLOWS in the most NSHLAMFAANFP (Neupogen Shots Hurt Like A Mo Fo And Are Not For Pussies) way

Todd’s Delectable Healthy Cookies – BAD ASS in the most sensational way (See Like Wow Links)

Seeing the Beach Every Day, But Not Stepping onto the Sand the Entire Summer – BLOWS in the most tormenting way

Sicky-Infested Waiting Room – BLOWS in the most I don’t want to wear a mask way

La Paloma (Duarte) Burritos – BAD ASS in the most fantastico way

Low White Blood Cell Count – BLOWS in the most loathsome way

Not Allowed to Have a F-ing Cocktail for 4 Months – BLOWS in the most non- refreshing, non-celebratory way

Scary Fever When White Cells Vanish – BLOWS in the most frightening/knowing you could catch something gnarly way

Blog Commenters – BAD ASS in the most supportive way

Bone Marrow Biopsy (without Michael Jackson knock-out sedation) – BLOWS in the most unpleasant way

Bone Marrow Biopsy (with Michael Jackson knock-out sedation) – BAD ASS in the most Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough kind of way

Low Red Blood Cell Count – BLOWS in the most detestable way

City of Hope – BAD ASS in the most phenomenal way

Bear Flag Wahoo Burritos (Crystal Cove) – BAD ASS in the most scrumptious way

Prednisone Side Effects – BLOWS in the most hippopotamus puffy, hairy kind of way

Sweet $2,222.99 Swing

Posted by

I am a survivor of two extremely rare diseases, thanks to over 100 blood transfusions and ultimately, a bone marrow transplant. My blog,, chronicles my adventures through medical offices, operating rooms, clinics, transfusion centers, hospital transplant floors, victory celebrations, and finally my bucket list items – all with a humorous and sometimes profane twist. My goal is to inspire others not to give up on life or anything else, and to understand that it’s actually possible to enjoy any experience, even battling a life-threatening illness (or two).

52 thoughts on “Bad Ass or Blows?

  1. Joselyn

    My heart is breaking for you – you are in my heart and prayers every day!
    Lots of love and well wishes.

    Tory (Veje) MacDonald


  2. You are BAD ASS! is Leason a match? that would be awesome! Miss being able to see you in person but love that this BLOWS situation has possibly created a new author in the future! You have found your calling! Prayers for you daily Jos … love you! krissy 🙂


  3. We pray for you every day, Jos…thanks for keeping everyone informed in such an entertaining way…When you mentioned that you watch Project Runway, I wondered what you thought of Elena being voted the best designer by the public???? I think she’s a B…..!
    God Bless You and Todd

    Auntie Caryll


  4. thank you God for my Prez Obama and the no more lifetime caps , hopefully my cuz wont need em, but good to know its available…let LP be a match, kid!


  5. Hi Jos,

    I have been reading your blog faithfully and it never fails to bring me to tears yet also put a smile on my face. What a gift you have to see humor where there really is none and keep us informed without completely falling apart as we try to comprehend your pain. I ran into Todd at Trader Joe’s yesterday and I told him how great it was to keep tabs on you through your blog and he said how much you loved to read the comments. I did not know I could comment. (Tells you how good I am on a computer), so sorry for not responding sooner. You are in my thoughts and prayers and your positive attitude and humor simply amazes me.

    Wilson is thrilled to have Rex as a new SAE pledge. I hope he is enjoying school as much as Wees.

    Big Big Hugs,


  6. Joselyn Miller’s most amazing attitude during the toughest fight any of us could imagine – BAD ASS in the most inspiring way!
    XO Mary


  7. Girlfriend, you are one Bad Ass Chica! You have me in tears and stitches every time!!! Keep going on the humor… I’ve got to believe your positive force is helping others, not to mention the awesome benefit it has on you. And when you are low, we’ll be here. Just imagine all our arms around you, giving you a good long, long extra long hug. xo


  8. Jos-everyone of these I read makes me laugh-you are truly an inspiration! I do think you might have to put this into a book down the road-no matter what adversity someone is going through-your story and the way you communicate about it is truly awesome! I also want to cry for you-so scary!! I wish I was closer to offer you help-but do know I am sending prayers and positvie energy your way every day!!!!


  9. Keep focusing on all the BAD ASS blessings. I believe it was Nixon who said “only if you have been in the deepest valley, can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain”. When this is over, your capacity for happiness will be bigger than anything you have ever experienced! I can’t wait for that day to come. We’re all rooting for you Joselyn.


  10. The moment you wake up from sleep, are conscious and feeling good– Badass!

    The second later that you realize you get to go to the hospital today– Blows!


  11. You have me checking my email more frequently just to look for your updates. This was the best yet. I never realized you were such a Bad Ass. Keep up the fight and I know you’ll kick Shulman’s butt. Also, thanks for turning us on to La Paloma. I Can’t wait to try one of their burritos.


  12. Jos, is Iceland really all that it’s cracked up to be? I mean, c’mon! You’ve got a beautiful beach to look at, and a very handsome Husband to look at as well. I’d say the scenery isn’t all that bad where you are! Iceland will be there for another time, and you’ll really have something to celebrate when you do go.

    We hope Leason is a match, but we are also hoping the transplant won’t be necessary.

    Take care, Jos. We love you. Say hello to Todd.

    Love, Aunt Wendy and Uncle John


  13. Joselyn you are one Bad Ass Writer full of Bad Ass Humor. It’s amazing you see the humor in this frigging Blow of a situation. All of us are pulling for you. You are definitely a winner and will Blow this frigging Syndrome to smithereens with your courage and positive attitude. Fight On. Love to all you guys.


  14. Missing your trip to Iceland really blows for sure! I know how much you love to travel and have amazing adventures. I’m sure it must feel like it will be eons before you get to do that again but that’s that bastard Shulman talking. Tell him to SHUT the F*%# UP. And if I remember correctly, Iceland isn’t the one with ice so even with global warming, I’m confident it will still be there when you get there.

    I must second the comments about making this into a book. Yeah there are lots of books detailing health challenges out there but NO ONE has your sense of humor, fabulous attitude or voice. Hope you’re keeping lots and lots of notes. I can just see you all Bad Ass on book tour!

    Hangeth in there!


  15. Jos,

    Been thinking of you lots, and want you to know your name comes up more than you’ll ever know. Everyone here misses your smiling face and your tremendous bathing suits 🙂
    Had no idea what a truly amazing gift you had in your writing ability–even after this is all over, you need to put that to good use and share it with an even larger audience.
    Your true character is astounding in the way that you choose to endure your pain with such grace, and of course not to mention, humor. Thank you for taking the time and effort to keep us all informed. You’re an inspiration to us all.


  16. I’m so glad this is posting to the world! You are helping so many others with your uplifting spirit! Most people are depressed and want to give up but not you!! Todd loves you even more with your sexy new pokes and marks!! Maybe he’s read 50 shades of gray behind your back!!



  17. Wow! I’m just at a loss for words…your determination and attitude truly do amaze and inspire! My heart aches to hear all you’re enduring…and my prayers are with you each day. Like others have shared, just as a tear begins to form, you say something that makes me laugh out loud!
    Really enjoy your blog…and am truly in awe of your ability to put it all in writing..the good, bad and ugly…esp. with such incredible humor. xoxoxoxo Linda and always, Ry.


  18. Yea Girl! You SHOULD have 13,000 hits on your blog! That’s how amazing you are. I’ve told a dozen people who don’t even know you…they are astounded by your epic story and epic humor. So many people pulling for you! Much love.


  19. Addendum to my last post: While I’ve always known that you were beautiful, talented, and smart, but I didn’t know that you were a Bad Ass, I’ve always known that Todd was an MBA (major bad ass.)


  20. Joselyn, You are truly amazing!! I thought I’d mention a prescription I once used for those awful mouth ulcers – it really helped soothe the pain! It’s called gelclair oral gel pack, by prescription only. Thanks for the updates. You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday.



  21. Hey Jos,
    You now have some new friends in Fiji, that know of you, and are shooting up lots of prayers on your behalf. Ok, the mouth sores sound sooo painful…yuk…and now to top off your other lovely symptoms…you might be losing your beautiful dark mane?!? Do you feel like you are being tossed around in a washing machine/dryer?!? Obviously, I don’t know what you feel, but I certainly know that washing machine affect..being tossed about in all directions…YOU, Jos, are one brave courageous mama! You are beautiful for soo many reasons, and this disease does not define you…however, I do think you, in turn, are defining this disease with grace, wit, and humor. Aside from possible purple hair, I for one would like to see you come to the dark side of blonde…we need smarter people to step up to the plate and redefine our image! Join the blonde club…today! Free membership dues…. Think about it…it could be bad ass….!!! Xoxox


  22. Jos,

    I can’t believe all the side effects and what you are going through! You are handling it unbelievably and know that we pray for you and Todd every day! Miss you and love you. We are going up to the Stanford game to see Piper and the Trojans. Maybe SC can win this one, although Dick always roots for Stanford because of Piper. I can’t quite ever bring myself to root for Stanford against SC! I know that you understand this!!!

    Xoxo Gretchen


  23. Joselyn,

    I am so proud of you and Todd that way you are handling this whole ordeal! It is simply amazing. I read your blog and I am BLOWN away! I am also super confident that along with your amazing team you are going to beat this and get to Iceland on that super trip. Keep on pushing, you’ll get there.



  24. Joselyn,

    This was an amazingly bad ass in a most profound way post. I was trying to think of what it would be like if my mother or anyone else I knew was going through what you are experiencing. I would have to say that they would not be handling it nearly as well as you are. From dealing with the side effects, schlepping to hospitals, blood tests, trying to remember all of your doctors names, etc, sounds mentally draining enough. However, you are so strong, positive, hopeful and humorous which is extremely important. You are also a great writer! Keep fighting, keep writing and keep delighting! All the best and the quickest recovery! You’ll be back on the MV Explorer in no time! Miss you guys!

    Jared R


  25. Jos, keep up the fight and humor. You are dealing with all of this in such a positive way. I know that you will come through it. At least they put you out for the bone marrow biopsy. When I had one (for anemia) they only gave me novocaine. OUCH!

    Love and prayers to you, Bonnie


  26. No, not mouth sores! That blows! Shulman’s cant take away the one thing you’re enjoying…burritos. Dont let it! Hang in there Jos. Iceland will still be there when you’re better, and you will look Bad Ass with no hair! My prayers are with you every day.


  27. Joslyn, you are so unbelievably amazing!!! With every blog I am always moved to tears and at the same time so honored to be a part of it. Bad Ass is your attitude and sense of humor. I know you will win the battle. You are in my prayers and may the God Force be with you.


  28. Jos, wonder woman, could be your Halloween costume! Everyone you touch is taking the journey with you. All our love, Bill, Signe, Dru and Eden


  29. The McDowells are with you Kiddo! You are an amazing woman in every way. Prayers and good thoughts are coming at you from 13000 different directions. You come from tough genes and you will kick this MF!!!!


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