So, we have a plan. I will check into City of Hope on December 7 to begin my bone marrow transplant festivities. On the morning of the 7th I will receive a Hickman catheter, which is wider gauged than the PICC line I now have in my left arm. I guess marrow is thicker than all the other blood products and drugs I have received through my PICC. The Hickman goes in my chest, under my collarbone and will have 2 available lines. My chemo will start on the 8th, which I’m told is quite brutal. I will not be able to eat through my mouth, because one of my chemo drugs is going to tear up my throat and guts and make it too painful to take food in, so I will be fed intravenously. I consider this a blessing, since I think the non-bacteria diet at COH hospital BLOWS. 
My brother/hero/lifesaver, Leason IV, will be there the morning of the 14th to have his marrow harvested (about a quart), then it will be transplanted into me on the same day. I will be there quite a few weeks after that to be monitored for rejection and any other infections or problems that may arise. Christmas Day will probably be my official Shave My Head day, since I will be losing my hair, and at that point I may resemble a Chinese Crested “dog.” While we are waiting for Leason’s marrow to graft to my bones, I will be in pain, but I am comforted to know that I will have my thumb on the morphine drip 🙂
There has been quite a bit to do in preparation for my BMT. I have had or will have this coming week: an EKG, an echocardiogram, a pulmonary function test, a CT scan of chest, pelvis and abdomen, an exam by a surgeon to determine whether my hematoma on my thigh will present a problem, a mental health evaluation, 24-hour pee test, a class on bone marrow transplants and another bone marrow biopsy. I had my 3rd bone marrow biopsy last week, and all was going as planned and expected until I suddenly awoke with a f-ing drill in my hip bone. I yelled, “I can FEEL that!” and they said, “We’re almost done.” Not a pleasant procedure. Not a pleasant day. We left the house at 5:30am to get to my 7am appointment, after which I felt totally barfy for the rest of my appointments at COH that day. Somehow, the knock-out drug didn’t mix well with the 19 other meds I’m on, and it made me delirious with nausea. When I got into the car I knew I was going to hurl, so I got out some plastic bags and started my 12 hour barf session. I felt more miserable than I can ever remember, throwing up every 20 minutes. The big problem was that I missed an entire day of medication and consumed no fluids for 24 hours, when my kidneys were about to shut down as it was. If I couldn’t take my morning meds and keep down some food and fluids by noon the next day (Thanksgiving), I would have to go back up to COH and check in for an f-ed up Thanksgiving dinner of IV fluids and medications. Somehow, my body cooperated and I found a way over night to take down and keep down some ginger ale and some saltine nibbles. Thanksgiving morning was a nervous time, as I tried to eat a little and take all of my pills. They stayed down and I could stay at home 🙂
It’s been even more challenging to sleep lately… I am trying to avoid putting pressure on my painful areas, which now include: my upper left arm (where my PICC line is inserted and I have 2 tubes coming out of my body), my left thigh (where my f-ing hematoma is STILL the size of a baseball), both upper butt cheeks (where my bone marrow biopsies have been taken and are so very sore), my jaw (where my high level of Cyclosporin has 
decided to attack and make it appear as if I have been chewing tobacco since my kindergarten days at La Veta Elementary), and most currently my hips, quads, calves, biceps, and triceps where the Neupogen –NSHLAMFAANFP (Neupogen shots hurt like a Mo-Fo and are not for pussies) is in my bones trying to make white blood cells. Maybe I could try standing on my head.
After considering the fact that I will lose my hair, I have come up with some pretty bad ass advantages:
-Saving huge $ on shampoo, conditioner, and all other hair care products
-No bad hair days
-Endless costume possibilities
-Ability to ride in convertibles without the fear of my hair suddenly whipping my eyes or choking me
-Cutting down on prep time in the morning
-No chance of being electrocuted by a hairdryer that somehow finds its way into a body of water
-No one can pull my hair during bar fights
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I am thankful to all of my supportive family and friends, especially for my awesome caregiver Todd and my generous little bro!!!
JOSELYN'S BRAWL 
You are, without a doubt, the strongest person I know. Wish there was something I could do. You are always in my thoughts & prayers. You will get through this with your kickass attitude! Then we can all celebrate BIG! I’m talking royal wedding, oscars, rent the taj majal BIG. XO
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Bless you!! I am amazed at your positive attitude – oh the lessons, we all have learned from you. You will get through this and never look back. Here’s to 2013!!! Thinking of you daily.
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You’ll wake up from this nightmare,
it will be Mid-January
and you will be on the mend!
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So difficult to know the pain and suffering you are going thru. We are praying for you and your family. Cant wait to celebrate your complete recovery at EL PATIO!!!! All will be well…….
Our love,
Steve,caron,dana and steven.
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Jos, You are my hero. The term “tough chick” takes on new meaning – there is no one like you! You can see the fininsh line now and even though it may seem like a long distance, try to take it a day at a time. I remember during races when I thought I couldn’t run any further. I would look ahead and consentrate on some distant object to take my mind off the pain. Then, I would see the finish line and start to sprint, flushed with renewed energy. So keep going, day by day, and soon you will be on the other side of this. Know that you are in our thoughts constantly and that we are all pulling for you. Love Lynn and Carolee
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Your amazing ability to be both painfully frank (no pun intended) and hilarious, not only serves as a window into your journey but also
opens up our w
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Dearest Jocelyn- you are an amazing human being. (I know you would much prefer to be called a “healthy” human being)! Give it time ! You are an inspiration to all of us and quite a teacher too! Although we all wish your knowledge came from books rather than personal experience.
I am sure your thanksgiving was not what you would have ever thought, but I am happy you were able to spend it at home.
Well it sounds like this nightmare isn’t going to end anytime soon, but hopefully this will work! We are praying that this will be the cure!
We love you and you are always in our hearts and conversations. Don’t think for a second that “out of sight, out of mind”. No way, baby!! Everyone is always asking for the latest update and sending loads of positive thoughts your way!
You hang in there and you have a school of followers that love you!
Love and prayers,
Nancy
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Darling Jos!! You are truly remarkable and we are humbled by your strength, courage, and indomitable spirit. “Give em hell Harry”, is now “Give em hell “Jos” because no chance “Harry” is as tough as you!! You continue to reach within and find unfathomable strength. We stand in awe of the perseverance and optimistic view you hold before us. I know that everyone of your friends and family would bare any and all pain, if they could. May the Love that is sent moment to moment fill your heart as much as you fill ours. Hugs Sweet You. Love to you and your amazing family.
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Jos-
On the hair losing side of things may I share a few of my comments since I looked like Mr. Clean (ummmm… actually make that Ms. Clean!) 7 1/2 years ago when Mallory shaved my head 2 weeks to the day after I received my first chemo.
A few other bad ass benefits to losing your hair:
#1 – yes you will save time, you can just throw on a wig, hat, scarf or bandana
(although you will have to make a decision what item to put ON your head!)
#2- yes you will save $, as no need to pay to color your hair or buy products and you don’t have to schedule appointments!
#3 – no pushing your hair out of your face, pulling it out of your jacket or clothes because you don’t have any
#4- no hair shedding or long hairs to pick up off the floor, your car or your clothing
#5- no wearing a hairband on your wrist in case you get hot and need to put your hair up
#6- you won’t get hot, no worries about hot flash sweats….as hair has a way of keeping your body so warm.
#7- yes, you can ride in the convertible and your hair won’t fly in your face
PICC Lines Are Good (PLAG) as it’s easier to take your drugs that way and they don’t have to poke you all the time and try and find a vein. I also had one surgically implanted and was so happy they could just give me my chemo drugs, blood tests and IV’s without poking the sh-t out of me to find my veins.
The good news is that your hair grows back and it is only temporary. You are such a beautiful, vibrant, strong woman with an amazing attitude, family and friends. I am so proud to be your friend, and an old one at that. I sit here writing this with tears streaming down my face with the thought that you have to to through this. We are all cheering for your recovery and that your are well again. Leason is aour hero and so glad that your brother is a match for you. To a healthy and happy 2013 for you my dear friend.
xoxoxo, jae
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“However confused the scene of our life appears, however torn we may be who now do face that scene, it can be faced and we can go on to be whole”. This Thanksgiving, our family is grateful for our brave and funny friend Joselyn, who soon will be whole again. We love and admire you so much and are holding you in our hearts as you face this next challenge. In the meantime…sleep in gravity boots? Can Todd get his hands on a zero gravity chamber? xoxoxo
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Joselyn, I made a post on your Blog last week and not sure you got it….I’m pretty LOW tech. I live in Emerald Bay, had a bone marrow transplant at COH five years ago. My sister was my “perfect” match and I know the anxiety you are feeling. If I can be of help to you in any way, please call me….949 244 5555. I will be following your progress.Prissy Eeds
Date: Sun, 25 Nov 2012 18:56:18 +0000 To: prissyeeds@hotmail.com
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So sorry for not responding, Prissy! I’m in the overwhelmed stage 🙂 It’s so sweet of you to offer to share your story 🙂 XO
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Joselyn,
You are so incredible to find humor in all this! You are so amazingly strong in this so difficult journey. We will be praying even more and know that you are constantly in our thoughts! I think you had the best seat in the house for that rough SC game!
We love you and thanks so much for the updates!
Gretchen, Dick , Piper and Hayley
Sent from my iPhone
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Joselyn, You’ve been in our thoughts . Keep up the fight! The last time we were in El Patio, Joyce was singing the praises of you and Todd. When this ordeal is over we’ll meet up. You’ll still be beautiful with a shaved head. Charlize Theron now has a shaved head so you two can start a new fad.
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Courage is looking fear right in the eye and saying ” get the hell out of my way, I’ve got things to do” …. Love you my courageous sweet friend….
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Tons of tight Hugs.
Jeri and Danny
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Jos, you will look good, no matter what!. You will beat this thing, you keep fighting because you have a lot of living to do. You have stepped up to the challenge and you will win!!! You and Todd and the kids, your parents, doctors and friends are a mighty army!!! You will WIN!! love you, Cookie, Pete, Sam and Tyler..
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Love you Jos! You are such a trooper, way tougher than Todd. I bet you will part with your hair way easier than he could (don’t tell him I said that… okay… you can tell him). You are in our thoughts and prayers. Fight On!
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I think about you every day Jos! We’re praying for you and your family.
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Love. Hugs. Prayers. All sent your way.
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Joselyn…
Just as I fear you couldn’t possibly ‘take’ anymore, you tell of more difficult times and painful situations. My heart drops, only to rise again in laughter at your seemingly boundless ability to almost look from the outside ‘in’ at your ordeal.
It’s all been said, but your courage, sense of humor and strength amaze me!
I feel like many, wish I could HELP…wish I could take even a tiny piece of the pain away for you…something! As it is, just know my thoughts are with you all the time, in prayer and in sharing with others your unbelievable stamina. The dates are ‘marked’ on my calender. There are literally ‘legions’ of prayer warriors keeping you ‘blanketed’ in prayer….hope you can ‘feel’ it.
Blessings Jos…love to you from Linda and always, Ryan xoxox
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Jos,
The strength and courage you exude though this adversity truly brings perspective on any “rough” day I have.
Thank you for inspiring me.
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Joselyn, I am speechless at your grace unde such extenuating circumstances. Reading your blog I hate myself for any petty complaints I ever have. You are an amazing inspiration and you will make it through this. Sending love, hugs, prayers and still thinking about you daily. Xoxoxoxo
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Joselyn –
Ryan and I are praying for you and know that you can get through this. We are constantly thinking about you and wish we could come visit. We love you so much!
Lisa & Ryan
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Joselyn-Can’t wait to hear the GOOD news when this nightmare is over!! We are thinking about you every day with good healing thoughts……”little” L really does rock. The ultimate Christmas gift. Love love love……Kristi and Doug
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your such an inspiration Joselyn. I am praying for you the whole way through! You’re a rockstar!
love, Kelly
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you are incredible and I will be thinking of you and all the family all the well. If there is anything I can do, please let me know xxx
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Joselyn, Your courage and sense of humor are unbelievable. Now at least you have a plan, and 2013 will be a wonderful year for you. My prayers are with you. Fight On!!! Love, Bonnie
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Dear Joselyn,
I hardly know you and I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, as well as your family. I recently had breakfast with Craig and Sharon and I told her how blessed you both were to call each other best friends. Your intelligence, spirit, humor, love of family and friends makes you an exceptionally extraordinary woman. I’m blessed to have finally crossed paths with you. I’m praying that you and Leason both fly through this final stage with flying colors. Hair or no hair YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Shulman’s Syndrome is going to get its assed kicked!!! Thanks for allowing me to be a part of your journey.
XXOO
Sent from my iPhone 360-201-9699
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Joselyn – what an inspiration you are to so many people! your amazing strength will get you through this unfortunate time and 2013 will be great!! Please know we are thinking of you so much and praying for you!! TTF love, tiariea
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Tiariea!!! You rock! Thanks so much for the care package from the deep south 🙂 Love the shirt! XO
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Oh Jos. We are so very sorry to hear of all the pain and agony you must go through for this bone marrow transplant. Michael has been talking to Todd regularly and we have all been praying for your healing both mind and body without fail. Christ can work miracles. Don’t give up! You can persevere. You are a special amazing lady and we love you and your fam dearly! My mom will have no hair soon as well as she undergoes both radiation and chemo. Her second breast cancer surgery is tomorrow Monday. You can’t take beauty away from such classy ladies as you and my mom! Please hang in there and know you are loved, and thought of every minute of every day! Remeber our inside joke of what a fopa is? I’m sure you are far far from having to worry about that one! LOL! Hope your smiling. Lots of love, hugs, faith, and prayers for your complete healing. Love, Care
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JOS,
You are facing the beginning of the end of this nightmare. The last time we had lunch was in April to celebrate your birthday. I fully expect to be celebrating your birthday with you in 2013. You will have a really cute short hairdo, your first. You will have a big smile as always. Your skin will glow. Instead of talking about your recent travels to some exotic place, we will hash out what the f%#$ just happened. A good meal will be had, there will be gratitude for a simple event like a lunch out with a friend and tears will flow. Tears of relief and happiness. I’m putting it in my calendar now – first week of April. I CAN NOT WAIT!
XOXOXO Love, MarySue
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It’s a date – CANNOT wait!!! Love you, Mary Sue! XO
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Hi Lovie, Um, yes, sounds like quite a plan & in spite of traveling through the bowels of medical hell to achieve your goal, PTL we have a sound one. I now have 2 heroes…you & Leason 4!! Thank you darling Leason & Kesha for your “gift”….
While visiting our local hospital yesterday, I read the Loving-Kindness Prayer & would like to share it with you
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Oops, continue the LKP…
May I be at peace. May my heart remain open. May I be awakened to the light of my own true nature through unconditional love, forgiveness, and surrender to God’s healing power. May I be healed. May I be a source of healing to all beings.
May love touch you, strengthen you & give you peace.
Joining the thousands in your journey of hope & peace.
Maggie & Jon
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Dear Jos! I’m still trying to figure out how you even lie down with all those nasty Xes marking the boo boo spots. You are in our thoughts every day. We are sending you lots of love. Heck, if love was all it took to heal you, you would be done by now. And a big thank you to your wonderful bro!
Mary, Chris and Julie
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Words elude me. You are more amazing everyday. You are on our prayer list at St. Matthews Church. I have told them about your plight and you will be in the continuous prayer circle.
Diana
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You are truly an awesome person-so amazing finding some humor in the very worst of situations! Thank you thank you for sharing your story-I think of you every day and pray this horrible situation gets better with the BMT! I believe with your positive attitude you are going to come out of this with flying colors!!!! I look forward to being on the ship with you soon!!!! I have a diving slideshow to send you (more extensive than facebook that I thought you might enjoy! Can you send me an email to bethhoffblackmer@gmail.com so I can get your address?
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Joselyn, I am in awe that I know someone as strong as you. Your strength and your humor astound me and I know with this “kick Ass” spirit of yours and the “next plan” that 2013 is going to be an incredibly healing year for you.
Much Love to you dear Jos, and to your strong and amazing family that is beside you all the way.
I can’t wait for you to come and be an SAE mom with me and share some of life’s lighter giggles.
Much Love, Light and strength, Annette
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I’m wishing you good luck and positive thoughts as you start on this next path to wellness. Let me know when you’re home and I’ll come share my 101 things to do with a head scarf that I’ve learned over the past few months…. 😉
xo Cathy
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Joselyn,
Due to my previous method of thumb replying, my previous note was sent prematurely. Although you seem to spill out wondrous volumes, I was more then likely trying to think too hard. What I really wanted to say is I was always in awe of how f’n awesome you look in pig tails and that your beauty will rock the new do as well.
Although you may not always feel radiant, you are a shining star to all of us!
Love,
MJ
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Joselyn, I have two friends, they have been best friends for 40 years, currently fighting breast cancer who are now bald due to chemo. They tell me scarves and hats are their new best friends! You are, and will always be beautiful! Your brother Leason is my new hero. Tony and I keep you in our prayers. Linda Ellis
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Hi Joselyn: I am so impressed by your strength and candor. And by your wonderful friends and their comments here. You are a special person – the irrefutable evidence is the wonderful family and friends you have around you. I hope and trust that you are able to draw from their strength to help carry you through. I sending positive thoughts long distance from Florida, wishing I had a way to be of some help. Keep fighting! Sent from my iPad
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Remarkable courage; your spirit defies description. Your story continues to inspire us. We pray for relief and success in the weeks ahead.
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Joselyn, we will hold you in our thoughts every day, and will be there in spirit to share strength, patience and confidence as you reach your goal of recovery. If a little fear creeps in, shoo it away with the shield of love being sent by so many. We are Joselyn’s Army of Positive Thinkers.
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jos,
you are SO brave and inspiring!! i’d put all of my money on you any day, and i know you will beat this!! we are all pulling, praying, and “HOPE”-ing for you each and every moment of each and every day!! xxoo
ps-if you need any hair for a wig, best not to ask the jef, those native americans tend to be on the less hairy side…but maybe check with us sicilian women? we tend to have extra…
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Hi Joselyn,
Woke up this morning thinking of you and remembering a saying that always helps me during difficult times. Remember, it’s always darkest before dawn.. ❤
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my goodness joselyn….glad you have a sense of humor….you are very BRAVE…maggie is my sister-in-law by marriage….billy (her brother that died) was married to my sister, kay…..we have been friends my entire life….she has kept us informed on your goal of recovery…just know that there are alot of prayers going your way….bless your brother!!!…terri barnhill
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Dear Jos,
Sending our thoughts and our prayers to you and your family! Your good health is #1 on our wish list this season!!
XOXO,
Pete and Emmy
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Jos you rock and are certainly no pussy. Pete says shaved heads rock!!! Super love you
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Thinking of you. And your family always! You are in my prayers!!:)
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i too have had to throw-up every 20 minutes for hours —but mine comes after a heavy night of “fun”! As far as shaved head goes, just look how cute your cousin makes it look 😉 #GOJOS
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